An Attitude of Gratitude

How Can I Thank You?   Yes, it is proper and necessary for the well-mannered to write a thank-you note for all gifts and out-of-the-ordinary deeds of kindness and thoughtfulness.  A rule of thumb:  if you think, "I should thank Bill/Susan," then get out your writing paper or thank-you note.  That established, what to put in that handwritten, snail-mailed note?  Don't be aloof and generic: Susan, Thanks for picking up the check the other day.  Great to see you. Bob Take the time to personalize your note: Susan, How kind of you to treat me to lunch Friday.  It was wonderful to catch up on how your family is doing and hear about your recent vacation.  It's always a pleasure to enjoy your company.  Next treat's on me. Warmly, Bob I thought I'd include the text of one of my young children's thank-you notes, un-coached, for a recent gift.  She has learned well! Dear Claire, Thank you so much for my necklace.  It is so beautiful!  I wore it to my first dance!  People complimented me on it, and I said, "Thank you! It is from my cousin Claire (whom I love!) [yes, she wrote 'whom'!]  Thank you again. Love, Katerina Remember, it doesn't matter if the deed or gift was pricey or simple.  Send that note on your mature, refined stationary or note card. And be prompt about it so that you're less likely to forget.  You'll be glad you expressed your gratitude and offered the small gift of your time in return. Thank you kindly for reading this issue's image tip.  Until next time, my best, Beth

You Are NOT a Rock Star!

http://carlosrocha.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/i-wanna-be-a-rockstar/

Is there anyone one who does not want to get what they pay for? Is there anyone who wants to be sold a bill of goods (that old expression for not getting what you pay for)? Although I doubt that anyone fits into these categories, I’ve seen hundreds of people show up at events that promise them the world and deliver a dump-truck-sized load of empty words. And it seems to be an epidemic. Not a month goes by that I do not receive an invitation for such an event. The speaker’s are sometimes regionally well known, and I would like to think that they are well meaning. However, often what they really sell for the price of admission is mostly cheerleading (“You go girl--you're a Rock Star!”) with a dose of nonsensical advice: “Tap into your ultimate essence and put it out to the universe.”—WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!. Lest you think I’m out of line, here is a bit of content from an invitation I recently received (grammar/semantics altered to protect):

With an investment of just 45 minutes (and an undisclosed fee) attendees will be given the key to the mint that will give them what they need to obtain:

·         A life of success

·         A life of passion

·         A life of purpose

·         A larger home

·         A family vacation

·         A new car

·         The freedom to do whatever you want

·         The freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want.

Seriously?!  In just 45 minutes?!  I’m more than willing to be educated about the factual efficacy of these kinds of offerings—as long as I don’t have to pay for it.

As someone who has in the past attended a few of these seminars and who has even been on the speakers’ list at one, let me just offer a few words of advice for seminar goers. Check the credentials of the speakers before paying your entry fee. Has the person you are paying to hear actually accomplished the things they are purporting to offer you? Are their promises hard to believe? Do they use a list of buzz words or are they offering concrete solutions? If they have written a book, bear in mind that not all books are created equal. I applaud self-publishing and recognize that many self-published books are of great value, but bear in mind I could publish my grocery list if I wanted to spend the money to do it.

Outlet Shopping: Nirvana or Mirage

No one (I mean, no one) likes bargain shopping more than I do. So whenever I have a reason to, I head to the outlets, you know, those treasure troves of high fashion at dizzingly low prices. Really? Over the past few years, my dizzy spells have been fewer and farther between as I have noticed that more and more the prices have seemed disturbingly similar to those in the mall and other local stores. Could it be, I have wondered, that the outlets are really not the treasure trove they purport to be?

Recently, I had my theory validated by an article I read, "Dirty Secrets of Outlet Shopping,"  (http://www.learnvest.com/author/the-learnvest-staff/>). According to the authors, my suspicions were well founded. Here are some facts that we should know before we load up and drive over the river and through the woods to your nearest outlet center. 

1.  You usually have to travel some distances to get to the outlets. Think about how many outlets you know that are in semi-rural areas or small remote towns. Is it really because they need all that space in order to accommodate the myriad of bargains? Actually, it has a lot to do with shopping psychology. When getting to the outlets is a major endeavor because of distances (people take tour buses to get there!), do we really want to leave without purchasing something? In fact, we feel obligated to buy.  We think, "I came so far, I shouldn't go home empty handed."  In fact, we probably started out thinking about coming home with a bounty of bargains.   So even if the prices are not great, we are inclined to buy anyway.

 2. Much of what we buy is not a store irregular, overstock, or last year's merchandise. Stores are now manufacturing items specifically for outlets. In many cases, only a small percentage of merchandise actually comes from the local stores. More often than not, the outlet products are made from lower quality materials and with lower quality workmanship specifically for the outlet store.

 3. Because much of outlet merchandise does not come from the main stores, the price tags announcing drastic price cuts off store prices is a sham. We are actually paying full price for lower quality goods, so instead of getting a bargain, we are paying too much. 

If you are like me, you are not about to stop shopping at outlets because of these dangers. After all, the thrill is in the hunt, and if we are prepared, we can still bag our share of bargains without getting taken. Just remember these points:

1.  Just because you traveled a long way to get to the outlets, don't feel compelled to justify your trip by spending money on things that may not be good quality bargains.

 2. Don't get caught up in the deceptive numbers on the price tags.  Pay particular attention to the quality of the merchandise, and then decide if it is really worth the price you will pay. Do not make your decision based on the original retail price, which is probably an inaccurate and meaningless number anyway.

 3. Make a list of things you want to buy before you go, then check out the retail prices at the mall, online or in your local stores so that you won't be fooled by bogus markdowns.

 Outlet shopping can be a fruitful experience as long as we are armed with an understanding that the phrase “outlet store” does not always mean "a place where high-quality merchandise is sold for ridiculously low prices."

Featured Article: Where Have All the Nice-Looking People Gone?

by Judith Rasband, AICI CIM  www.Conselle.com Beth Y. Stange AICI CIP is a Licensed Conselle Affiliate Photo: maurilioamorim.com They've gone the way of their nice-looking clothes! Most are just plain gone! Many people look pretty awful in today's casual, uniform dress-ill-fitting jeans and T-shirts! And I'm no longer alone in stating this observation. The idea that dressing down has gone too far has been gaining concern, say those who engage in people watching as a profession. Photo: chaosmanorreviews.com Betty Halbreich, author of Secrets Of A Fashion Therapist, was asked, "How do you think women are dressing today?" She answered in alarm, "They look awful! People, both men and women, have become very sloppy. We're just too casual." Referring to Casual Friday she added, "It should be blown off the map! It's become so casual . . . they're coming to work in their pajamas." Even cartoon character, Dilbert, agrees. "I love the 'Business Casual' looks for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." It's interesting to do a little people watching for yourself. Sitting in a wonderful, well designed and well decorated office building I made a few notes. So many employees looked so out of place wearing faded cotton polo shirts and khakis or jeans. I was shocked at seeing women who looked like they just came in from the farm--followed by full-figured women, invariably the ones to wear a short top, leggings, and hiking boots or pointy-toed-heels. And so many men were wearing a knit or ill-fitting shirt and pants, the focal point becomes their belly. "Why bother with the cost of a beautiful building when the people inside look so awful!" declared another observer. Photo: DailyMail People may want a more relaxed, casual attitude and behavior, therefore the casual image. But why go to the point where we compromise our integrity, lose our dignity, and look like a slob? Wendy Cheslea, Canadian image management consultant, reports, "People look terrible. They just don't care how they look! They'll spend $10 on a tacky T-shirt and call themselves dressed. They spend their money on boats, cars, and other toys but not on their clothes! When did this happen?" asks Cheslea. "Where is it leading? And what can we do about it?" Since the 60s and the attitude of "down with the establishment," traditional ways of dress have been giving way to more casual dress on all occasions. It's part of the casualization of America. And Canada is right on our heels. "People have become lazy", asserts Halbreich. "People don't want to have to think about what goes with what. Jeans and a T-shirt is a no-brainer. And that's what the people look like-like they don't have a brain." "I don't have to worry about looking nice anymore," declared a frumpy looking woman. "Don't worry," chimed in Cheslea, "you don't." "It doesn't matter what I wear," stated a disgruntled consumer at the thought of image improvement. "I don't have to impress anyone." And again, adds Cheslea, "Don't worry, you won't." According to a recent Harvard University study, productivity on casual Fridays has dropped 30 percent. Citibank reversed earlier casual dress policies, claiming that "chains of command had broken down, productivity was sagging and chaos reigned in the workplace." Photo: middlesexcc.edu So it does matter. We know that the way we choose to look affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act or behave, and only then the way others react or respond to us--all of this affecting the achievement of our goals--or not. I talk with so many who tell me about feeling depressed. We can lift that load by simply getting up and dressing up to some degree. A colored shirt with a collar does wonders to lift your look and your mood. For those who do still dare to dress nicely, we find that someone in casual to sloppy dress is sure to challenge them with a sneer, saying "Why you so dressed up?" Even youngsters are known to censure nicely dressed classmates with comments like, "Who do you think you are, Miss Priss?" The questions are crafted to put you down and make you feel like the one who is out of place, while they build themselves up-and it's working. In this post-modern day we are allowing people to take the liberty of taking away the right to look nice, to dress to a higher level. Additional reports are typical, of people being told not to come to work in "good clothes anymore. You make the rest of us feel uncomfortable." Or, "No one dresses up for the theater anymore, so don't bother." It has become the accepted assumption that it is the nicely presented person who must make the change, the one who must conform to lower standards. You, we, and our youth need some one liners already in our heads, ready for response, allowing us to more easily stand for higher standards. You need to stand or walk tall, smile politely, and say something like, "Because it makes me feel so nice." Other one liners to consider include: "'Cause I'm worth it." "'Cause I know better." "Today's a special day." "Because I respect myself." "So I get and keep the job." "Because I'm nicer to look at." "I like the way it makes me feel." "So you'll notice me--and you did." Photo: JNY.com Turn the question and the pressure around. Practice saying, "Why are you so dressed down?" Chances are the person will likely come back with something like, "Cause it's more comfortable." To which you can add, "I'm both comfortable and lookin' so good." Someone might easily say, "'Cause it's in fashion." And so you ask, "Why is it in fashion? Who's driving the fashion?" While there are fine and responsible fashion manufacturers and retailers "out there," there are also disreputable and irresponsible fashion Moguls and media that present rude and crude images for shock value-to attract attention, viewers, readers, and buyers of what they want to sell-be it attitudes, behaviors, or products. Giving into that sort of fashion, you become a "fashion victim." Well, I want none of my readers to fall victim to fashion. We can take action in the form of image management. If we are not already looking and feeling the way we want to look and feel, again I say, it's never too late to become who we want to be. Make 2012 the year you get yourself and your wardrobe the way you've always wanted them to be.