Social media is a both a blessing and a curse. We can now communicate more rapidly and in more different ways than most of us ever imagined just a few years ago. Communication has also become portable. My husband and I like to watch a lot of the old 1980s detective series, e.g., Remington Steele, and Magnum P.I. When the hero is trapped in a drain pipe or beneath a hail of bullets with no cell phone with which to call, twitter, or text, we realize how far we have come in so short a time. On the other hand, along with the blessings of instant access to a potentially huge audience have come some curses, some unavoidable and some rectifiable. It is one of the rectifiable ones that is on my mind today--and every day. I refer to those inane and narcissistic comments that cram my Facebook page.
Let me start by saying that I have Facebook pages for two reasons. The first is personal: as four of our seven children have grown and left the nest, Facebook allows to me follow their adventures, see photo galleries of grandchildren and my son's latest girl friend, and keep up to date with many old friends with whom I had lost touch. My second purpose for joining Facebook was to enhance my online presence for business purposes. I can post image tips, keep abreast of trends in the image management field, share information with other consultants and my clients, and even prescreen perspective employees.
However, every time I log onto my page, I have to wade through a sea of entries such as "Only one more day until the weekend" (I know what day it is!), "Yow, this coffee is hot!" (Call out the National Guard!), or "It's 8:05 and I'm out the door" (Please, tell me when you get to your car, then work, then your first coffee break, then the potty, of course). These types of comments posted to Facebook are problematic for two reasons: first, every entry has to be mentally evaluated (for example, crucial, important, interesting, a waste of time). I skim over the "waste of time" entries, but evaluating and skimming take time. Similar to junk email and phone solicitations, meaningless Facebook drivel is an invasion of my consciousness and a purloining of my time.
I know, I know. Why don't I just unfriend the violators? I can't. I like these people and some of them I even love. Unfriending sends such a negative social message, and I don't want to hurt people whose love and friendship I cherish. I do want to know if Tom got that great job he was hoping for, if Mary is responding well to her medication, and if Louie really has found the love of his life. I just don't care that one of them just sneezed so loudly that he or she scared the dog. There is a distinct difference between news and self-absorption. I'm not on this crusade only for myself. As an image consultant, I don't want those I care about getting reputations as mindless, egocentric, bored, or dull.
I'm well aware that my cry in the wilderness against Facebook flotsam and jetsam may fall on deaf ears, but at least I have struck a small blow for reason and good sense. And I’m not alone—I’ve read similar sentiments in Facebook posts!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Over-Exposed = Under-Paid, by Dr. Duff Watkins and Jean Woo
Over exposed = Under paid
Dr. Duff Watkins and Jean Woo
"Clothes make the person. Naked people have little or no influence." - Mark Twain
Would you rather be seen as serious or sexy? Promoted or picked up?
Are you headed for the boardroom or the backroom?
Are you headed for the boardroom or the backroom?
At work, your success is significantly influenced by how much skin you display. Just as photographic images can be ruined by overexposure, so too your image can suffer from overexposure. Studies show that a 20% variance in remuneration can be attributed to appearance, so it pays to get the right exposure.
Whether pole dancing or climbing the corporate ladder, you wear specific clothes for a specific purpose. Appropriate clothing always helps create the desired effect.
Put simply: overexposure kills your credibility. If you expose too much skin in the world of business, you won’t be perceived as a credible person worthy of promotion. Overexposure diminishes your authority, stalls your career, and prevents pay rises.
It’s nobody’s fault, really.
Blame the brain.
Blame the brain.
Ever since we humans started walking upright we’ve had trouble interpreting displays of skin. The problem is that the brain sees skin display as a sexual signal. Sexual signals are so powerful that even the biggest, smartest brains get distracted by them.
That’s one purpose of clothes: to dampen sexual signals. Wearing clothes allows you to send intended signals without sexual overtones.
In the business world, exposing too much skin confuses your audience. Male colleagues are especially confused due to their brain’s hardwiring. For men, the more skin you expose, the more sexual the signal. In the corporate world, overexposure will cost you credibility because the more sexual signals you send, the less likely you are to be taken seriously.
Distract = Detract
Nowadays casual business dress is common and so too is overexposure. It’s not just the obvious visual distractions of bare midriffs and deep cleavages. It’s also bare arms, bare legs and visible toes. The point to note is that anything that distracts a viewer detracts from your image.
True story: A female executive and two male colleagues enter a meeting. The two males wear neckties and long shirtsleeves. The woman wears a collarless, short-sleeved blouse which exposes her arms and neck. The other people in the meeting immediately assume that the woman is subordinate to the men.
She’s not; she’s a partner in a law firm and the two males are her assistants. Big mistake by the other people? Sure, but understandable given how the brain works.
The biggest mistake, however, was made by the female lawyer who forgot this fact: you influence what others think by what you wear. She diminished her own authority and confused her audience by the way she dressed. Having failed to make an accurate first impression, she now has to reclaim her credibility. That’s bad for business and bad for self-esteem.
The biggest mistake, however, was made by the female lawyer who forgot this fact: you influence what others think by what you wear. She diminished her own authority and confused her audience by the way she dressed. Having failed to make an accurate first impression, she now has to reclaim her credibility. That’s bad for business and bad for self-esteem.
It doesn’t matter who you are. The more flesh you display, the less status you will have. So cover up or be prepared to take lots of orders for tea and coffee.
Exposure = Vulnerability
Clothing is also protection. We say ‘exposed’ when we mean vulnerable, defenseless or needing protection. In business, men don’t expose much. In the corporate work, the only male flesh you see is face and hands. It’s now the rule: in order to convey competence, cover up. Even in the most relaxed office, no man shows up to work in sleeveless t-shirts or sandals. That’s why in a world where men wear suits, women decrease their authority if they expose more flesh than the men.
| Five ways to boost your credibility:
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Remember, expose your skills not your skin.
| | Dr Duff Watkins dw@execsearch.com.au is Director, Asia/Pacific of the Cornerstone International Group. His articles appear in Men’s Style Australia, Sydney Morning Herald, Company Director Magazine, Melbourne Herald Sun and many others. | | Jean Woo jean@personalbrand.com.au is author of Executive Style. dress essentials for men and women. Once a corporate lawyer, she is now Director of Personal Brand Management. They are co-authors of Dress For Effect.: secrets of sartorial splendour |
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
An Attitude of Gratitude
How Can I Thank You?
Yes, it is proper and necessary for the well-mannered to write a thank-you note for all gifts and out-of-the-ordinary deeds of kindness and thoughtfulness. A rule of thumb: if you think, "I should thank Bill/Susan," then get out your writing paper or thank-you note. That established, what to put in that handwritten, snail-mailed note?
Don't be aloof and generic:
Susan,
Thanks for picking up the check the other day. Great to see you.
Bob
Take the time to personalize your note:
Susan,
How kind of you to treat me to lunch Friday. It was wonderful to catch up on how your family is doing and hear about your recent vacation. It's always a pleasure to enjoy your company. Next treat's on me.
Warmly,
Bob
I thought I'd include the text of one of my young children's thank-you notes, un-coached, for a recent gift. She has learned well!
Dear Claire,
Thank you so much for my necklace. It is so beautiful! I wore it to my first dance! People complimented me on it, and I said, "Thank you! It is from my cousin Claire (whom I love!) [yes, she wrote 'whom'!] Thank you again.
Love,
Katerina
Remember, it doesn't matter if the deed or gift was pricey or simple. Send that note on your mature, refined stationary or note card. And be prompt about it so that you're less likely to forget. You'll be glad you expressed your gratitude and offered the small gift of your time in return.
Thank you kindly for reading this issue's image tip.
Until next time, my best,
Beth
Monday, January 17, 2011
Executive Accessories Principle #7: Less is More
Choose a Purse or a Briefcase – Not Both
For women, a big accessory mistake is to carry both a briefcase and a purse –this can get cumbersome. Instead opt for a stylish briefcase. Today many designers make feminine yet sophisticated cases that can serve as your purse and hold your papers, or even your laptop. You can always stick a small evening bag in the briefcase if you need to go from day to evening. Just leave the case in the office when you go out to that dinner or cocktail hour. Men, too, are best to use just one carrying accessory. Invest in a quality briefcase and save the backpack for hiking.
Accessories are a vital part of an effective executive wardrobe. Whatever your professional role follow these ideas to ensure you always feel confident, and look fantastic.
For women, a big accessory mistake is to carry both a briefcase and a purse –this can get cumbersome. Instead opt for a stylish briefcase. Today many designers make feminine yet sophisticated cases that can serve as your purse and hold your papers, or even your laptop. You can always stick a small evening bag in the briefcase if you need to go from day to evening. Just leave the case in the office when you go out to that dinner or cocktail hour. Men, too, are best to use just one carrying accessory. Invest in a quality briefcase and save the backpack for hiking.
Accessories are a vital part of an effective executive wardrobe. Whatever your professional role follow these ideas to ensure you always feel confident, and look fantastic.
Executive Accessories Principle #6: Quiet!
Watch the Noise
While most shoes make some noise, notice if yours are unusually loud. This can distract those around you and will be sure to make you uncomfortable. Be sure that sling backs are not clicking. The same also goes for jewelry. Save the bells and chimes for the holiday parties and keep them out of the office. Another important tip here is to remember to take off all but one bracelet if you are doing a presentation. You do not want your noisy bracelets to distract from your powerful message. Your colleagues and clients want to hear only from you, not your clothing or accessories.
While most shoes make some noise, notice if yours are unusually loud. This can distract those around you and will be sure to make you uncomfortable. Be sure that sling backs are not clicking. The same also goes for jewelry. Save the bells and chimes for the holiday parties and keep them out of the office. Another important tip here is to remember to take off all but one bracelet if you are doing a presentation. You do not want your noisy bracelets to distract from your powerful message. Your colleagues and clients want to hear only from you, not your clothing or accessories.
Executive Accessories Principle #5: Check Again!
Do A Double Take
As a final step, always take a good look at yourself in the mirror before you leave each morning. Are your clothes clean and pressed? Is fit and style appropriate? Are your shoes clean and polished? Are your accessories simple and classic? It is helpful to have a second set of eyes give a final nod before you head out the door, to make sure tags are tucked in, hair is removed from shoulder fabric, and loose threads are removed. When you look and feel well put together, you are conveying the professionalism that your colleagues expect of you.
As a final step, always take a good look at yourself in the mirror before you leave each morning. Are your clothes clean and pressed? Is fit and style appropriate? Are your shoes clean and polished? Are your accessories simple and classic? It is helpful to have a second set of eyes give a final nod before you head out the door, to make sure tags are tucked in, hair is removed from shoulder fabric, and loose threads are removed. When you look and feel well put together, you are conveying the professionalism that your colleagues expect of you.
Executive Accessories Principle #4: Try Outs
Do A Test Run
Take the time to do a “test run” on any new accessory or garment you add to your business wardrobe. Wear it first to run errands or to meet a friend for lunch before you wear it to work so you will not be surprised by an earring that keeps falling off or a necklace that keeps catching your hair. You want to be aware of any challenges and resolve them away from the office. Again, that honest, competent feedback before hand can be a valuable insight into whether your business accessories are working for you or against you.
Take the time to do a “test run” on any new accessory or garment you add to your business wardrobe. Wear it first to run errands or to meet a friend for lunch before you wear it to work so you will not be surprised by an earring that keeps falling off or a necklace that keeps catching your hair. You want to be aware of any challenges and resolve them away from the office. Again, that honest, competent feedback before hand can be a valuable insight into whether your business accessories are working for you or against you.
Executive Accessories Principle #3: Neutral is Nice
Keep Your Bags and Shoes Neutral
Remembering to coordinate with your chosen core wardrobe neutral(s), choose suede or leather in neutral colors for your bags and shoes. Patent leather is a great way to add flair while still being neutral. Also, choose classic styles rather then the latest trends. Classic shoes and bags in high quality materials and workmanship are good investments and will look great for seasons to come. Flashier colors and styles are best saved for recreation and socializing.
Remembering to coordinate with your chosen core wardrobe neutral(s), choose suede or leather in neutral colors for your bags and shoes. Patent leather is a great way to add flair while still being neutral. Also, choose classic styles rather then the latest trends. Classic shoes and bags in high quality materials and workmanship are good investments and will look great for seasons to come. Flashier colors and styles are best saved for recreation and socializing.
Executive Accessories Principle #2: Be Jeweled Appropriately
Principle #2 Any Old Necklace Will Not Do
Just because it is real gold does not mean it is working for you. It is important to wear jewelry that compliments your personal coloring, the style of your clothing, and is in proportion to your body size. Too many women wear very dainty necklaces in the workplace, and this does not enhance their authority. Pick jewelry that is an appropriate size for you and specifically complements the outfit you have on. And remember that trendy pieces are best left for social events. Style magazines and catalogs are not the best place to get accessory advice, as they are marketing products for sale. You're safest for business when choosing timeless, classic pieces.
Just because it is real gold does not mean it is working for you. It is important to wear jewelry that compliments your personal coloring, the style of your clothing, and is in proportion to your body size. Too many women wear very dainty necklaces in the workplace, and this does not enhance their authority. Pick jewelry that is an appropriate size for you and specifically complements the outfit you have on. And remember that trendy pieces are best left for social events. Style magazines and catalogs are not the best place to get accessory advice, as they are marketing products for sale. You're safest for business when choosing timeless, classic pieces.
Executive Accessories Principle #1: Be Jeweled
Next in our series of Your Executive Image are principles of effective accessorizing. As much as you realize the importance of investing in an executive wardrobe to enhance your image, recognize that the garments you select are only one part of your overall executive image equation. Your shoes, jewelry, and other accessories are also influencing factors that deserve your attention so that you always look your best.
These important accents can complement or compete with your carefully selected, executive outfit. Follow these principles to ensure that what you decide to do with your accessories and jewelry is working for you at work every day.
Principle #1 Don’t Skip the Jewelry
Jewelry is important, as it finishes the look. Always wear one pair of earrings to frame your face. Also add at least a necklace or a bracelet, and always consider a watch. Without jewelry you look underdressed in the workplace – and underpaid. Invest in some good classic jewelry that will last a long time, and then each year add one or two more current pieces.
These important accents can complement or compete with your carefully selected, executive outfit. Follow these principles to ensure that what you decide to do with your accessories and jewelry is working for you at work every day.
Principle #1 Don’t Skip the Jewelry
Jewelry is important, as it finishes the look. Always wear one pair of earrings to frame your face. Also add at least a necklace or a bracelet, and always consider a watch. Without jewelry you look underdressed in the workplace – and underpaid. Invest in some good classic jewelry that will last a long time, and then each year add one or two more current pieces.
Relaxed Business Attire Principle #5: A Safe Set
A Safe Set
Three outfits that work great for relaxed business attire are a sweater or sweater set paired with a pair of slacks, a turtleneck with slacks (with a scarf and a skirt for women), or a neatly pressed pair of pants or a skirt worn with a pressed long-sleeved, buttoned solid shirt. These combinations will always help you be appropriately dressed and ready to get down to business.
Effectively discerning between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate for business may save your career. Take time to plan in advance what you will wear for those relaxed business days and settings. Use the principles and tools given here to help you set yourself apart from the competition and as you continue climbing the ladder of success in your industry.
Three outfits that work great for relaxed business attire are a sweater or sweater set paired with a pair of slacks, a turtleneck with slacks (with a scarf and a skirt for women), or a neatly pressed pair of pants or a skirt worn with a pressed long-sleeved, buttoned solid shirt. These combinations will always help you be appropriately dressed and ready to get down to business.
Effectively discerning between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate for business may save your career. Take time to plan in advance what you will wear for those relaxed business days and settings. Use the principles and tools given here to help you set yourself apart from the competition and as you continue climbing the ladder of success in your industry.
Relaxed Business Attire Principle #5: Add a Layer
Add a Layer
Any image professional will tell you the importance of always wearing a third piece. Your shirt or blouse and pant or skirt are the first two and then you need one more – a jacket, a sweater, even a vest. Even if you in relaxed business attire, you still want to command authority and convey credibility, so be sure to continue to include that third piece. This piece can often be conveniently hung on the back of your office door, in case you need to increase your visual authority for an occasional meeting or client. You have options and versatility with your third piece.
Any image professional will tell you the importance of always wearing a third piece. Your shirt or blouse and pant or skirt are the first two and then you need one more – a jacket, a sweater, even a vest. Even if you in relaxed business attire, you still want to command authority and convey credibility, so be sure to continue to include that third piece. This piece can often be conveniently hung on the back of your office door, in case you need to increase your visual authority for an occasional meeting or client. You have options and versatility with your third piece.
Relaxed Business Attire Principle #4: Let's Make Up
Do Make Up
Relaxed business dress does not mean so casual that you forget to put on your face. According to a recent study published in the Economic Review, women who wear makeup for business earn 30 percent more than those "who can't be bothered." Women who do not wear makeup appear less put together, which can give the non-verbal message that they are tired or overwhelmed. For business, makeup should be natural looking, leaning toward conservative. Be sure to wear only your daytime makeup to the office.
Relaxed business dress does not mean so casual that you forget to put on your face. According to a recent study published in the Economic Review, women who wear makeup for business earn 30 percent more than those "who can't be bothered." Women who do not wear makeup appear less put together, which can give the non-verbal message that they are tired or overwhelmed. For business, makeup should be natural looking, leaning toward conservative. Be sure to wear only your daytime makeup to the office.
Relaxed Business Attire Principle #3: No Bojangles
Abandon the Banging Bangles
Sometimes trendy jewelry worn to work makes you look more like a fashion victim than a competent professional. Noisy jewelry is distracting. For women, piercings are best kept to one matched pair per ear. For both men and women, keep your jewelry simple and classic. If you work in a creative industry you have more flexibility. However, wearing an armful of bracelets, huge hoop earrings and a belt that is bigger than a breadbox will do nothing to advance your career. Save your statement pieces for social events and your classic pieces for business.
Sometimes trendy jewelry worn to work makes you look more like a fashion victim than a competent professional. Noisy jewelry is distracting. For women, piercings are best kept to one matched pair per ear. For both men and women, keep your jewelry simple and classic. If you work in a creative industry you have more flexibility. However, wearing an armful of bracelets, huge hoop earrings and a belt that is bigger than a breadbox will do nothing to advance your career. Save your statement pieces for social events and your classic pieces for business.
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